Are you tired of your regular, week-day, 9 – 5 job? Do you feel bored and need some excitement in your life? Are you searching for a new career? There is one career I think will make sense and add some excitement and some cash as well into your life. It is called ‘danfo-driving’. For all who do not understand, it means commercial bus driving. Do not get it twisted; the danfo is one very cool looking commercial bus in Lagos. It is always painted yellow and black.so all you will be is a driver, a commercial bus driver. For those interested, here are a few tips that should help you for the career ahead.

  • GET A SMART CONDUCTOR

Your conductor is an important part of your career. In fact, he is your partner. A good, honest and smart conductor is good for business.  A good conductor should:

(i) Be Smart.

(ii) Be Athletic

(iii) Have a deep intimidating voice.

(iv) Be a good boxer (should be ready to fight whenever)

(v) Be honest.

Please note that you do not need a side-mirror on your right hand side. Your conductor doubles as your side mirror and trafficator when needed. So just yank off the side mirror on your right hand side. You don’t need it.

  • TAKE ALCOHOL

A good amount of alcohol is good for consumption first thing in the morning. I said a ‘good’ amount o. I did not say ‘get drunk’. You need the alcohol so that your system can get charged up and ready to go for the day.

  • YOU OWN THE ROAD

Listen to me, you own the road. Yes, I said it. You own the road. Once you see a passenger whether he or she is at the bus stop or not, stop and pick that person. In fact, do not care if you cause traffic on the road. You own the road and nobody, I mean NOBODY (well, except law enforcement agents) has the right to tell you to move when you are trying to ‘shadow’ your passengers.

  • BE GENEROUS TO LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENTS

You do not expect to be stingy and then be successful in this career. Come on!!!! You have to ‘give and it shall be given unto you’. To enjoy certain privileges (like the tip stated before this), you have got ‘settle’ law enforcement agents (police, FRSC, LASTMA and VIO). When I say settle, I mean an act of kindness to them. These guys are always on the road, come rain, come shine. So a little act of kindness won’t kill you, would it? Also ensure that you have one of these law enforcement agents sitting in the front seat of your bus. I tell you that NOBODY can stop you. Dem no born am well.

  • HAVE A SHARP TONGUE

Some passengers can be very annoying and think that they can talk to you or your conductor anyhow. In fact some passengers’ system runs on making trouble. Always get ready for such people. Who are they? Is it because you are a danfo driver? Is it easy to be a danfo driver? Before they finish one sentence, respond with like five or more insult-filled sentences. Insult their parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and children. In fact, insult everything about them. Who are they to talk to you anyhow? NONSENSE!!!!!!!!!

  • KNOW WHEN TO INCREASE FARES

As a danfo driver, you have to be sharp and know when to make quick cash. One of such ways is to know when to increase fares. If you get the timing right, you will make good cash. You should increase fares when;

i) There’s a rumour of or an increase in fuel price.

ii) Workers have just closed for the day and there are fewer buses than passengers.

iii) It is about to rain or it is raining and

iv) When there is traffic ahead (unusual traffic).

  • DO NOT GET CAUGHT

This is the last of my tips and it will be short and simple. If for any reason a law enforcement agent has to go after you, MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT GET CAUGHT. That is all.

With all these tips, I am very sure that you are on the path to becoming one successful danfo driver. If there are other things you will need to learn, you’ll learn them on the job.

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