Well, in response to your marshaled-out points, I think it pertinent to give you a reply. Abi na?

Dear Future Husband,

  • Thank God for letting me know on time that my food will not guarantee me your heart because we will do more takeaways than home-made meals. *straight face* I am not your cook.
  • Don’t blame me when your friends put a pot in your belly because I won’t be at your drinking joints with your crew and don’t complain also when my own body changes because you will be the “culprit doctor” injecting me with all sorts of body-enhancing sperm cells so that I can bear you children. So, please, don’t call me FAT.
  • Boo, don’t forget that your people will want me to establish my presence in your house by producing an heir. So, we need a son first *Eyelashes* After all, I only have X chromosomes, you have both the X and Y *winks*.
  • This has nothing to do with me. You have to deliberate with President Goodluck Jonathan on his latest birth-control programme. Sorry Honey but you can see that it is not my fault that we would have just THREE (3) Kids *straight face*.Talk to Mr. President please.
  • I quite agree that our children must learn at least one musical instrument. One will be a clapper, the other a mouther and the last a hummer. Very natural musical instruments. Don’t you agree with me? Who has money to waste on musical instruments? LMFAO
  • Dated for a time. Wow! Hold on! Dated for a time, how long? 10 years? Oh! I really need to think about it seriously because if it took you that long to propose to me, how long will it take you to make me a mother, Mstcheww….
  • When I complain about the “THINGS” that I am unhappy about or “ASK” for things that I need, don’t complain that I am beginning to complain or ask too much. You want it that way after all you don’t read minds right baby?
  • Yes and please when you don’t meet target at work or had an argument with your boss, don’t bring it home. I have my own fair share of problems too *raised eyebrows*.
  • Sweetie, you should concentrate on making money than on my father. If you are made, you won’t need coercing to spend it.
  • Yeah, you were well disciplined and that is why we are sending our kids abroad for schooling. For them to receive proper grooming and discipline. Full stop
  • *On my knees too with my palms in front of me “begi-begi style” Baby, Please, I hope that you won’t always be dropping that your cute female colleague home before coming home to my cooking that has taken me 10hours to get ready only to grumble an “I’m full honey” because that certainly is when the nags will begin.

Oh can’t you see how good we will be together? We sure do blend Sweetie-pie. Please, just drop the question and I will be

Yours forever

Future Wife,

@Joy_cherrybloom on twitter.