Sunday, 5th of January, 2014 is one day Nigerian comedian, Basket Mouth will not forget in a long while. The popular comedian posted a joke online that sparked a lot of anger and criticism. For those who have not seen or read the said joke, it went like this:
1st Date: Coffee
2nd Date: Kiss
3rd Date: Sex
1st Date: Fast Food
2nd Date: Hug
3rd Date: Chinese Restaurant
4th Date: Kiss
5th Date: Attempted sex but failed
6th Date: Shopping
7th Date: Cinema, New Phone, More shopping
8th Date: Attempted sex but failed
9th Date: RAPE!!!!
When I read this and then read some of the outbursts, I could understand why people were angry. Rape is not a joke and shouldn’t be used to joke. It is not something you throw around anyhow. I think the joke was bad and shouldn’t have come out in the first place. But I find it hard to understand how it is an endorsement of rape. I do not think it endorses rape.
Also, do we not watch comedy shows or standup comedy? Comedians crack jokes about almost everything. Some will argue that people who have been attacked by armed robbers face psychological issues but comedians joke about such too and some of us laugh about it. You laugh at albino jokes easily right? What about those who have albinos as relatives? How would they feel? How many of us have laughed at jokes about people who stammer? We have seen comedians mock celebs and we laugh and fall over ourselves with happiness. People like Chris Rock, Katt Williams, Eddie Griffin and Jeff Dunham, just to mention a few should be killed then, because they crack jokes about almost everything. To be honest, I do not feel comfortable with every joke. Some should not be cracked at all. Any sensible comedian would know not to crack any joke that wasn’t received well by his audience. It is also expected of comedians to know when to crack what joke and where to and where not to.
I am of the opinion that the joke, if we even choose to call it a joke, was a bad joke but that wasn’t the only thing I saw there. What I saw were two scenarios with the African scenario as my major concern. I am not one who likes to generalize so I would narrow that down to “NIGERIA” instead of “AFRICA”. We live in a society where some guys feel they deserve sex from any lady that calls herself their friends. Imagine if such a guy takes the same girl out and spends a dime on her. There are ladies out there who, Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi, an on air personality with Beat Fm, Lagos calls “OLUWAGIVEME ADEGRABBIES”. Such ladies believe that coming in contact or having anything to do with a guy is an opportunity to make a kill. Milk him dry and walk away. Mr. A believes that after taking a lady out, he deserves sex as pay back for his investments. There is a Miss A who feels that any guy that truly likes her should spend on her and she doesn’t have to give returns on investment. Now, imagine that these two characters meet and they are the characters depicted in that scenario. Just imagine. Why do you think some idiots go as far as put some pills in drinks so as to have their way with ladies? And to those ladies that keep collecting even after he has made sexual moves at you and you refused, I say “Well done”. I have friends, yes friends, not strangers who believe that a guy and a girl cannot and shouldn’t be just friends without sex. You get called all sorts of names just because a lady visits you and you don’t have sex with her. Some even question your sexuality. Some ladies have even come to accept the “you should pay him back in kind” practice. This is why I don’t blame ladies who don’t accept gifts from people anyhow. They rather buy it for themselves by themselves so that one guy doesn’t feel he should reap dividends of his investments.
We can get angry, which is alright to me, about this. We can even go further by ensuring that Basket Mouth loses his brand endorsement and all his shows as some have been doing (which I don’t support), but will that change this sad mindset? Losing his brand endorsement will (and I hope the reaction has), teach him and other celebrities to be careful about what they put out and be a bit more responsible as they are role models to a lot of people, but beyond that, we should teach our boys to respect girls. They should understand that not every relationship goes the sex way. They should be taught to accept “No” and handle it well. And girls should be taught that every guy shouldn’t be a walking ATM machine loaded with cash to spend on you at any time. You cannot go round expecting to collect cash or gifts from every guy that shines his teeth at you. You should be responsible and buy what you want for yourself too. We have a culture that allows women to be treated like what men choose. This is why some men can say that women should be blamed for rape. This is why some rape victims are scared to open up. This is why some heap the blame of a failed marriage on the woman. I can go and on. These are the real issues. If we ever need a revolution, it is that of our minds. It needs to be soaked in detergent and washed with iron sponge and sand too.
I am glad he apologized properly because his first apology was disgusting but we have some mindset cleansing to do as a people.
This is where I expect to be stoned. *lifts up Spartan shield*